**everything changes**

I love school. I actually believe I'm addicted to learning and the people that come with it. ADDICTED.PEOPLE. Here in lies the issue. I am taking some time off from school. I'm sad. More sad than I though I would be.

In my writing class this term our instructor has us "free-write". This is the time we can just explode our thoughts on the page. He usually give us a prompt. This is interesting for me. One was, "The Table" another, "Cheap Thrills". We are not required to use the prompt and Tuesday I decided not to. I wrote about our future plans and dreams. I wrote how I would miss school and wondering if, even if I was near earning a degree, I'd miss it. Then this mind game threw me for a loop. I wondered if I was addicted to school and its diversity. Then it morphed into maybe that being the reason I love the idea of teaching. Newness. I would get a new class every fall. Just as I would get a new instructor and class mates every term. Hmmmm. I think I just love learning. I hope I just love learning and I won't miss this interaction as much as I'm feeling I will right now. I'm thinking I will cry. These fellow students have helped change me to who I am right now. I love myself and them.

Why don't I just continue? Weeell. Our first financial goal was home ownership in 7 years. This would be the year Esther would be entering COLLEGE. Yes. You read right. If I take a one year pause (and work the hours they want me to)we would have more than the bank requires for a down payment. One.Year. Then I can go back OR I can pause another year and have enough saved for a little perk. That perk? Nip and tuck. =D

Who knows? God. I daily put my hopes, dreams, mistakes and desires at the feel of His Grace. Only he knows what will really transpire. I have had so many different plans that have changed. He is the one constant. He will faithfully direct our future.

So, beyond this this term's end; I.have.no.idea. I'm learning that not knowing is okay. It even can be fun. I'm waiting for the fun part to start....tomorrow maybe? Kidding. =D We will be patient. We will rest. We will accept. We will create. We will grow. We will believe. This is our quest.