It's April Already

A year ago: I've got to blog more, at least once a week.
A few weeks after that: I HATE that I have't posted on the blog. I need to make that a priority.
A few weeks after that: Wow, we have alot going on. No wonder I haven't had time to post on the blog! Good thing our schedules are calming down. I should FINALLY have time to blog this week!
Months after that: Should I even try to compose a post to blog? So many events have passed and many more loom ahead. Maybe I should just give it up?
Just now: *trying to log in* Uh-oh. Can a blog be deleted due to inactivity???? Oh no! And I finally have time to blog!

I know it's not quite April yet, but it sure feels like it. As fast as our schedules are speeding along, we can now just skip days and jump into a yet-to-occur one. No, it's not a new type of super power or technology, it is merely necessity.

This April is a busy one. Our calendar is already filled to overflowing. Excitement and uncertainty mark this time in our lives, like none before it. Or this is how it seems and feels at the moment.

Ben- begins a new position at his current company on Monday. This new position will require more long distance travel (long distance being southern Washington to central Oregon. Some of you may be stifling laughter at this description of travel. For us, this is a HUGE change). Right now, his bachelors program counselor crammed him into two overlapping classes. That will be done this next week-end. THANK GOD! So, he is working full-time and double timing school. It makes for some interesting schedule conflicts. Ben has just begin getting into cycling as a hobby.

Me- I still have a job (this became a potential issue when I had to interview for my own position and when funding became slight. Many co-workers are or will be receiving lay-off letters). My manager has encouraged my pursuit of a bachelors, so I have enrolled in CH222, again (I dropped this course last spring when Zach became ill and was in the hospital). So, I am working full-time and taking 5 credits. Our 5 raised garden beds will soon become a hive of activity as I have already begun starts and planted peas and lettuce.

Es- is in her last semester of her Freshman year. This year has brought challenges with certain teachers. She impresses me with her attitude. "Well, I am learning how to deal with difficult teachers"- I haven't told her that this will not be her last run in with such a prediciemnt. =) She decided to discontinue playing violin as a school activity, but still practices at home during the week. Her attitude and viewpoints catch me off guard and her hilarious comments cause much joy in our house.

Sam- in his last year of middle school. He is still playing violin as a school activity and loves to listen to music and read. He's been practicing his basketball form and is excited to be involved with that during his freshman year. Most shockingly, he is now 5'9'', size 10.5 shoe and is all arms and legs (he's only 13!). Sometimes I mistake him for his Dad when I just hear his voice.

Zach- recovered wonderfully from pneumonia and played football last Fall. He is in his first year of middle school and enjoys math the most. He is in his first year of band at school and plays the baratone. He loves long walks on the beach (just checking to see if you're still with me!) anything to do with the outdoors and recently inherited Sam's old bike.

Joey- is in his first year of middle school and looks the most forward to Mr. Hays' class. This math teacher allows the kids to spend time in his class during the lunch periods to learn the algorithms of the Rubik's cube. Joe can now solve a messed cube in less than a minute. He likes anything to do with science and math and is also involved in band at school playing the trombone.

With everything we are involved with we tackle with determination and purpose. We get dirty completing jobs and having fun. But, isn't this is what life is about? Fulfilling purpose and cleaning up messes? At least that is what the fun and lasting bits to life are.

"God is the one who started this good work in you, and I am certain the he won't stop before it is complete on the day the Christ Jesus returns" Philippians 1:6 CEVD

So, expect another post from me in a week month….who knows when!

The Speed of Life

I remember when the kids were younger and short half my height. We would treasure each milestone; each tooth lost and new skill acquired. "Mamma! Look what I can do!" was a common phrase spoken to me, to which I would respond "WOW! You amaze me!" or "Cool! Isn't that fun?!". Filling their emotional, spiritual, mental and physical tool boxes with equipment they would need has been Ben and my focus for over a decade. At times I would feel as if we were trying to push the tide out while it was on its way in. The word exasperating comes to mind as I think back.

Distinctly, I remember when Ben and I decided to avoid giving instructions on how to handle situations. We wanted the kids to begin figuring out their own options, even if those options were outrageous or of a lesser quality than we would have hoped for. That was heart wrenching and exciting to watch! I wanted to rescue my babies from the results of their poor choices. But reality bites. That is a lesson that is better learned when reality has the angelic tint of childhood in it because one this dress rehearsal for adulthood is over, the rescuing becomes more challenging....and more expensive. We chose to avoid a complete rescue, and instead we would ask if they wanted us to help them explore some options that could help them handle the situation.

Modern psychology touts its data and findings. I understand that a humans brain is still growing until about age 22 (in my case, I had delivered my first and was pregnant with my second by that age. Heh. It makes sense that I experienced a few mental lapses!). I understand the studies of the pre-teen and teenage brain functions being associated to the brain functions of the clinically insane. Yet, I believed better for my own kids. They, after all, were the exception to every rule and study. I failed to follow my thought process with the fact that they are human and that I am too.What a joy that statement is! Remembering that training is a process and that we make mistakes is a crucial bit to the whole picture.

Now our job is over half-way completed. Sis (14) has begun her first year of High School, Sam (13) his last of Middle School and Zach and Joe (11) their first year of Middle school. The largest life lessons have been taught and accepted and the training intense days have floated away to the land of photos taken and memories made. We are working our way out of the most precious job I have ever (and will ever) have; parenting.

To say that this journey has been nothing but sweetness would be a disservice. And, it would be a lie. The most disastrous days and also the most exhilarating ones have come to me from my offspring. As we have been walking through the beginning of this Fall school year my soul has had the pleasure of seeing the results of our labor. Each child responds to their stress differently, and expertly. Maybe I would have responded to the situation differently than they, but this is their mark to make, not mine. I am proud to be associated with these Large Humans that live in my house. They are mature, sweet, accepting, flexible, silly, innovative and caring. And we treasure these milestones just as much as we did when they were younger, maybe even more. What more could a woman ask for? N.o.t.h.i.n.g.

In the whole wide world, I have found no other process that produces a complete person from a philosophy. This parenting thing does just that. What a joy to be involved in their process!



"I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:1-4

All that Jazz

 SPRING BREAK is HERE! Below is what I would have posted if I would have had time during the term. =)

The Experiment. Materials needed: kid, photographer, peanut butter, candies, and opinions.

 I took my first biology class this term and fell in love. Biology in now my minor and education my major. This is a photo of "Horace". He is our resident red tailed hawk that was the star of one of my BI papers. I received an extra point due to him! Thanks Horace!

Snow day! The first was taken on our first late school day due to snow. The last was taken this Thursday 3.22.12. The kids got a pre-spring break treat!

 The boys helping Ben construct our backyard fort. The last one is of the Twins playing Connect Four on my phone. Gotta love those aps!

We defiantly needed this break from routine. Since Ben began full-time school again we have had another morph of our schedule. And we will have another morph as my term begins next Monday. Whew! I am glad that we are completing this process now and not when the kids are in high school!
If you are anticipating your break enjoy it! And if yours has already passed you by I hope it was wonderful.
HAPPY SPRING!

When I thought my heart would break

There was nothing I could do. Her struggles I could only imagine. Though I have a great one, imagination does little to ease reality. Responsibilities at home, at school and at church pressing on this young heart. Trying to figure out who you are is difficult enough. Add newly protruding body parts and the unpredictable human chemicals called hormones and this is a recipe for.....what exactly?

The day was dark and stormy. I mean, it had been a long, hard day for me at work. It was evening. We were putting away the dinner items. The water was steaming as it rushed out of our kitchen faucet, and I was checking the kids' homework progress (or lack there of in some cases). Trudging up the stairs to check her work for the umpteenth time, I hoped for better news than before. Wondering why her work was so slow in coming forth, I asked why. She'd been texting instead of completing homework. NICE.

The remorse only came when I held my hand out for the phone. No words were needed. She knew. I knew. Knowing doesn't really help. Not unless you make a choice to back up the knowledge will change happen. As she walked away her phone screen illuminated with notification of a new text. Wondering, I slid it open and looked at the incoming message. This was our deal when she received the phone. Without warning, peering at texts and phone records by parents was a way we thought would help to ensure innocence would not be lost. Pfffts. Right.

The message was nasty. Filled with written words of filth and hurt. Gulping down the fear rising into my throat I selected the option to read her outgoing messages. These messages were doubly hurtful, nasty and full of four-letter-fowl-words. I must have selected the wrong folder. n.o.p.e.

Reality is an interesting concept. My reality will look, smell and taste different from your reality. My past memories and hurts as well as my joys will influence my perception of my reality. Yet, there still are high and poor quality choices to be made regardless of perceived reality. Truth is there. Waiting. Though sometimes truth slaps you upside your head and kicks you in the pants, it is necessary. This was not what I had planned for my reality that night.

So, I stood, bracing myself with the frame of my bathroom door jam. Reeling from the reek of the stench that had poured out of her. Through her fingertips. I began to see double, yet the tears stayed held.My tears needed to wait. There was a mission to be completed - questions to be answered. Maybe there was a reasonable explanation for this. I bet she fell during PE today. That's got to be it. She's fighting a concussion. She answered the questions I presented in an emotionless, forthright and professional manner. No apologies. No remorse. No....what? Reason or recognition. She was found guilty and she didn't seem to care. I walked out of her room, helpless and broken. The words exchanged were not tense. Nor were they elevated. We had both been calm. As I descended the stairs a realization hit me.

I was disappointed. In my daughter. The baby I dreamed and planned for. The toddler I instructed who's sparkling eyes held me in such esteem. The little girl who was sure she'd marry her daddy one day and broke her arm falling from a slide when she was five. Who over corrected her brothers and "policed" the house constantly. Those issues seemed very diminished compared to the current information. I prayed. Ben and I talked. We prayed. We cursed and pointed fingers at oursleves. In the end, there was still a confused girl waiting in her room. Waiting for the worst. Waiting to hear that we disapproved, that I was disappointed. That she was.not.worth.it.

I found myself walking back to her room an hour later. Instead of condemning her poor choice, I told her a story. The princess in the white dress story. She messed up her pretty dress and tried to fix it herself, but that just made the problem worse. She needed help. She needed love. She needed hope. She needed, redemption.

Really, this is what we all need, what we all CRAVE. We need hope. We need help. We need redemption. We were not meant to figure this life out on our own. To wash our used-to-be-pretty-white clothes takes more than one.

She knew better. She made a poor choice, and it didn't taste good deep down. She began to cry. Yes, there were consequences for her poor choices, but changes are evident. In the time since then disrespect has risen again and again. We have been learning how to deal with this new stage and we are all working together better than ever now. Today she is more dear to me that she was previous to this event. She has grown.....so have I. Who knew? ;-)

The road is bumpy and long sometimes. But we often fail to take a moment, pause, look behind us and see the beautiful vista. That really does make the, sometimes, vomits journey worth the pain and broken hearts.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: REJOICE! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything....." Philippians 4:4:6a

But, I don't want this to end

This break has been a sweet breeze in our lives. Some of the kids were not able to purchase items for their siblings or Ben and I. I encouraged them to make coupons as gifts. When the first one was opened I cried. There was thought and caring put into the act. It was priceless. Here is an example of one such coupon:

(it reads: This cupon is good for 10 minutes of Putting makup on me.

To esther from Sam

P.S. not on Christmas!)

My favorite gift was one made. Ben and the kids wrote words of encouragement and love on a coffee mug. I have used it everyday since!

One of the kids "group" gift from Ben and I was a new Connect Four game. Since both Ben and I had Monday off we decided to make it a championship out of it; a Connect Four championship with leader board, tee-shirt and all.

 I was undefeated. Then I played my second game with Ben (second place) and I LOST. That shirt should'da been MINE. Next time. It will be. =)

This was the fourth photo I took. Shack that up to a learning curve with the new camera. This would be the "gosh Babe. Didn't you take enough pictures" look.

  

 The kids also received the game Twister. WHAT A BLAST! This was the first night of Twister glory.

Thank you GOD for times of fun and memories. What a joy!

90% is not the same as 100%...

but it's DARN close! I have completed 90% of my finals. The remaining item is an in class essay about the Constitution of the U.S. Breezy, baby. BREEZY!

I am thankful for SO much through this time of improvised schedules.
Ben is a huge asset. He takes the kids to mid-week church activities and helps them all with homework. He has also become quite the chef. I cannot have done what I have without his efforts and support.
My Mom has been picking up the Twins from school every Wednesday. This enables me to work later than their pick-up time. I have been able to keep both jobs because she has helped out.
The kids are ever becoming more responsible with their activities. Es and Sam get to the bus stop on their own. Every kid has improved their school abilities and grades. This is a huge task!
Friends have been encouraging and offered advice as I have been in desperate need.

My heart is full of appreciation and gratitude. I am who I am because of many people.
Thank you to me is not just a term. It is a way of life. So, I will honor you all as I press on.

THANK YOU.

the lighting was great

so I put my reading off, grabbed our o.l.d. camera, and took advantage.

My view of the 2.5 acre park behind our house.

This one I asked the kids to show me how family "looked". Voila!

Nuf said

Crater Lake. October 15th, 2011. For Grandma Betra.

I should be studying right now...

...but before I forget, I need to post our current schedules. I will forget. I know it.

Sundays: all kids practice for Christmas drama 9-10.30. All stay for service. Home. RELAX (or catch up on studying).

Monday: Ben and I get up at 4.55am. Work-out. Ben leaves at 6.40. I wake kids. Breakfast 7.15-7.45. Take Twins to school 8.10-8.30. Walk Es and Sam to bus stop 8.55-9.10. STUDY. P/U Twins 2.30-3.05. Begin dinner. 4.40-4.50 meet Es and Sam's bus. 5.30-6.15 dinner. 9.30 blessed sleep!

Tuesday:All is the same until I drop the Twins off. 8.50-9.50 internship at PCC. Class 10-11.50. Intern noon to 2.20. Directly P/U Twins and home by 3.05 (beginning the 18th the Twins will be p/u at 4). The remaining is the same.

Wednesday: All is the same except this is late start for Es and Sam. Bus p/u 9.55-10.10. I work my first job this day (my last day is the 12th of this month. Then I will be working my PCC job during this time) until 5. My mom p/u the Twins. Dinner and then church. THEN SLEEP!

Thursday: Everything the same as Tuesday.

Friday: Morning is the same. Then I intern from 9.30-12.30. After the 12th not be working the internship this day (Wednesdays instead) but will use this time to study.The rest of the day matches Monday.

Saturday: enjoy being a family!

We've switched up several ideas as a family. There is no TV watching from Monday a.m. to Friday morning. We used to have a huge cleaning day on Saturday, but we've begun talking little bits of our Saturday chart thought the week.

This term I am taking HE 242 (WEBonly), HST 201 and ART 205 (WEBonly). I am considering taking classes through this summer to enable my graduating at that terms end (if my memory serves correct I will only have 11 credits that term).
Es and Sam both are required 7 periods. They are maturing FAST! Es: Science, Math, CSI, Orchestra, Social Studies, Choir and Language Arts. Sam: Orchestra, Art, PE/Health, Language Arts, Social Studies, Math & Science. They do not share the same lunch time, but they see each other in the halls and their lockers are in the same spot. And of course, they ride the same bus. =D The Twins are enjoying the second to last year of their homeroom. I am amazed at the sponges the kids are. The literally soak up all this information. That is....if they are paying attention to their teacher! This is becoming less of an issue. THANK GOD!

Well, that's it. Nos vemos. See you!

We're ALMOST there!

As I type Ben is removing the secondary subfloor in the dining/front room. This will allow him to lay the hardwoods without covering the baseboards. This is the last of our house projects. YAY!

We have stayed here for the past four nights. The kids bath is done now.

Now all we need to complete is.back.to.school.shopping. My brain will not compute. Didn't school just let out for the summer? Since I worked all summer I didn't get to see the kids as much as I would have preferred. BUT vacation is coming! Ben and I begin our vacation tomorrow!!!! I won't be back until the 8th of Sep. and Ben the 6th. The first day of school for the Twins and Sam is the 6th. Sis begins the 7th. I begin the 26th with my last full week of work being the 12th.

How has your Summer gone? Do YOU have any fantastic Fall plans?

And the list goes on

We have had the keys to the house for a week and a day. We've had a few set backs. Ben had to sand the hardwoods twice, and the tile work was set back by....technology. The new tile cement was touting ease of time, but it set up TOO quick. So, back to Home Depot for the regular stuff. I bet that was his tenth trip in a week. =D The kids have been helping TONS. I am so proud and blessed by them. They have been cleaning, painting and assisting Ben and I in our jobs. We have been assisted by our church family and my parents. Many others would love to help but 1) they have jobs or kids that need them 2) we're getting to the done side of this thing. YAY!

Thus far we are done with: painting, carpet cleaning, 1/2 bath renovation, carpet in master and first floor existing hardwoods.

What is left you may be thinking??? Today Ben will be laying the tile he cut, cutting and laying tile for the kids bath. The kids and I will be finding all the sprinkler heads and cleaning them. Moving their rooms over, moving the fridge in and possible moving our perishables over.

Tomorrow will be bathroom day. We'll be putting the toilets back and cleaning. Ben will begin to install the new hardwoods downstairs. By weeks end the ducts, furnace and AC will be cleaned, and the cable and internet will be swapped.

Ben and I have to work all next week, but the following week WE'RE OFF! YEEESSSSS! Some where in all of this I need to school supply shop with the kids. Oh yeah, and get a little rescue dog. =D

I love being my own landlord. Sweet Baby Jesus thank you LORD!

Sam. He blistered his hands and didn't even know.

Joe.

Zach.

Sam's room.

The Subway pick-nick we had the day we told the kids.