Distinctly, I remember when Ben and I decided to avoid giving instructions on how to handle situations. We wanted the kids to begin figuring out their own options, even if those options were outrageous or of a lesser quality than we would have hoped for. That was heart wrenching and exciting to watch! I wanted to rescue my babies from the results of their poor choices. But reality bites. That is a lesson that is better learned when reality has the angelic tint of childhood in it because one this dress rehearsal for adulthood is over, the rescuing becomes more challenging....and more expensive. We chose to avoid a complete rescue, and instead we would ask if they wanted us to help them explore some options that could help them handle the situation.
Modern psychology touts its data and findings. I understand that a humans brain is still growing until about age 22 (in my case, I had delivered my first and was pregnant with my second by that age. Heh. It makes sense that I experienced a few mental lapses!). I understand the studies of the pre-teen and teenage brain functions being associated to the brain functions of the clinically insane. Yet, I believed better for my own kids. They, after all, were the exception to every rule and study. I failed to follow my thought process with the fact that they are human and that I am too.What a joy that statement is! Remembering that training is a process and that we make mistakes is a crucial bit to the whole picture.
Now our job is over half-way completed. Sis (14) has begun her first year of High School, Sam (13) his last of Middle School and Zach and Joe (11) their first year of Middle school. The largest life lessons have been taught and accepted and the training intense days have floated away to the land of photos taken and memories made. We are working our way out of the most precious job I have ever (and will ever) have; parenting.
To say that this journey has been nothing but sweetness would be a disservice. And, it would be a lie. The most disastrous days and also the most exhilarating ones have come to me from my offspring. As we have been walking through the beginning of this Fall school year my soul has had the pleasure of seeing the results of our labor. Each child responds to their stress differently, and expertly. Maybe I would have responded to the situation differently than they, but this is their mark to make, not mine. I am proud to be associated with these Large Humans that live in my house. They are mature, sweet, accepting, flexible, silly, innovative and caring. And we treasure these milestones just as much as we did when they were younger, maybe even more. What more could a woman ask for? N.o.t.h.i.n.g.
In the whole wide world, I have found no other process that produces a complete person from a philosophy. This parenting thing does just that. What a joy to be involved in their process!
"I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:1-4
