I'm tired. I was in the ER until 1.30 this am getting diagnosed with a bladder infection (severe to my estimations). Yuck.
But I don't want to re-visit that (just an fyi). I did want to tell you about some changes we've been making with the kids.
We've been having and increasingly difficult time with the boys being sluggish in the mornings. Like nearly making all the kids tardy for school. It seemed nothing I said would get them moving. Until today, that is.
I was reading a great book "How to Make Kids Mind Without Loosing Yours" by Dr. Kevin Leman. Super good read. I don't agree with every single idea he has, but most of them. He wrote about being consistent and dishing out discipline instead of just punishment and trying, as best as possible, to relate the discipline with the issue or mistake. And treating the kid with respect as you do. And not to refer to our choices as 'good' or 'bad' but as high or poor quality. Much more descriptive and truthful.
The best quote from my Tuesday read? (This is not an exact quote as I don't' want to violate the copy right.) "Your home needs to be a place where freedom to fail is a rule. Some of our greatest successes are a result of our greatest failures. It's just the same for kids." Basically, let them make the wrong choice and learn how that feels (my kids are leaning it's not-so-scrumptious). That's really hard for me to do. But making mistakes has great results.
Case and point. Back to the goofing-off-boys-of-mine. They were being poky this am. So I, without warning, moved up their bed time 5 min. and told them why. Oh the teary eyes. Then it happened again. So, I bumped up the time another 5 min. This totally got their attention.
We were also having problems at the table with manners. So now, when we notice someone chewing with their mouth open or elbows on the table, they are required to put a small piece of scotch tape on their cheek or elbow.
We have had ecstatic results. And in just two days! I only wish I'd read it sooner =D
I'll post about the results we've had with our Girl another time.
3 comments:
That's so great! I'm a big fan of natural consequences (as much as is realistic, anyway) and taking responsibility. Maddie is only 2, but she's getting it. Her biggest struggle right now is the "you make the mess, you clean it up!" rule (instead of her own "Mommy is my personal maid" rule). Learning new habits is tough at any age--even for us adults!
Hey, hope you're feeling OK! Good cause and effect stuff! God is good to put helpful stuff within our reach. Love you, Mom : )
Focus on the Fam, has an interview on their web cast with him. He has written a new book. We have the one your read. I will need to read it, cuase I'm about to lose my mind ;)
Hope your feeling better!!
(loved your non-shower day! I do that a lot, drop and run, before anyone can see me!)
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