Quiet and Reflective

The kids and I have been fighting a cold bug. I thought it was kinda comical, fighting a cold the week after school gets out =) The nice thing about all of us being stuck at home together; we get to become good, again, about being together. I was brought up short yesterday when I realised that I tend to be a 'quiet Christian'. Don't worry I'll explain.

The Steven C. Chapman song, Live Out Loud, was playing in my head when I woke up yesterday. I was convicted because, all to often, I don't let my excitement for God's love pour from me. In his song, he talks about wining a million $ an how excited and vocal we'd be about winning, yet we have something better than a million (salvation!) and we tend to be quite about it. As my Uncle would say, "If you didn't know I was a Christian, shame on me."

So, that train of thought brought me to parenting (I'm a girl, remember....rabbit trails all over the place!). I tend to be an ungracious, too firm Mama. I totally love my kids, every one, and I love to be affectionate. Yet, when I've told them to jump, they'd better say "How high?!?".
I realised that alot of what I struggle with as a mom, they struggle with towards each other. Uggg. Take interrupting, for example. I expect that when I'm in a conversation they say "Excuse me Mom. May I please interrupt you?". Even though we've been training the kids to do this (FOREVER!), I interrupt their conversations left and right! No wonder there's no progress! I spend a ton of time training and then tear all that training apart by my bad example. Talk about hypocritical AND selfish AND impatient AND, AND, AND! I was basically expecting more out of the kids than I was outta myself. That's one recipe for destruction. Oh yeah, this is just one example. There are many more, unfortunately.

I remember thinking, when the kids were toddlers, that my parenting job would be easier when they got a little older. Yeah, it's less physically demanding (no more diapers, potty training, less disciplining) but w-a-y more emotionally and spiritually demanding. It takes more time to parent these days too. I'm really not complaining. Just stating facts.

With our crazy schedule these past few months I'd just not taken the time to really think about this stuff. It's nice to stay home and reflect. Not always easy or fun, but good. I'm hoping for my job as a parent to eventually get easier, not really expecting, but hoping!
It's scary to think about doing this big job without God. No way I could do it with out Him.

The reason for this post? For one, a reminder for myself. And another, I'm hoping to encourage YOU! We all mess up. It's not winning the game that matters, but how one plays.

Heb. 12.1+2 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus..."